These last few days have been fairly busy. I've been trying to keep up with my application and fitness goals and now that its the end of the week I'm exhausted, mentally and definitely physically. By body hurts! That FitBall/Core class always (that I did on Wednesday afternoon) always makes me feel like the most deceptively unfit and weak person in the world. Yet, the soreness afterward is so rewarding. Even if it makes getting out of bed and through my day that much harder. 

I have been fairly successful in keeping up with my goals for applications. I submitted 3 yesterday: Boston University, VCU, and EVMS, and Georgetown is now ready to be submitted. I'm hoping to at least finish UVA today and perhaps Brown tomorrow. Fulbright has just been a little harder to pin down than I had hoped it would be, but thankfully the deadline was moved 3 days as well....we will see what happens. 

Corner sports was very fun. I got there about 20 minutes early and although I just wasn't feeling up for running the 5 miles I had planned for tomorrow, I decided to try to run whatever I could before everyone arrived, so I did a good 2 miles. Playing basketball made me sooooo happy. There was a moment on the courts where I was just glowing with happiness - it was dark outside with the stadium lights accented the rain drops that were falling on the court and I just felt the rain mix with my glistening sweaty body and watched my friends as we were about to play more basketball and all I could think about was just what a wonderful summer this has been. There were definitely moments of just overpowering sadness and loneliness, but to be completely honest....I'm definitely not as sad as I used to be in the past year, and in the moments that I realize this fact, I accept, perhaps even embrace the glimmers of summer sadness. 

My body was very sore by the time I came home and I was really happy to have a little extra time with my family. When I went to bed I thought I would get a chance to recover, but my sleep was restless, my body couldn't get comfortable and it was too hot in my room. I had awoke in the middle of the night to a horrible nightmare. It was only 2 in the morning and I could not get back to sleep so I finished "The Help"...at 4 in the morning. The book ended with a part about beginnings, how sometimes we are forced to take a step to changing our lives because there is nothing left for us where we are. It also made me consider the importance of being brave and the relationships between women, regardless of what boundaries we may place on them. It made me think about where I was now and if had yet reached that point, both with living at home for the summer and at Virginia Tech. I tried to gauge how I felt about returning this Fall for one last semester before heading abroad. Was this trip to Switzerland a start to a new a life as well? 

Thankfully, I don't feel quite done yet. I feel that my experiences this semester will be so different. An entire semester full of non-bio classes! I will be learning another language, learning how to write stories, hopefully traveling for interviews, staying active daily, and planning a medical humanities institute. It all just seems too different for me to feel saturated with Virginia Tech experiences quite yet. Maybe that is the trick, to do things that are vastly different. Perhaps even the knowledge that I'm doing something so unique by the end of the year that it doesn't even feel like I'm quite returning to the same school. It definitely wont be the same without the comfort of that relationship and those friends. If anything, I'm still very excited to come back for one last semester in Blacksburg. In terms of Switzerland, it still doesn't feel real, so I don't quite have an opinion of it. I don't even have enough brain space right now to think about it, haha.  

At starbucks this morning I've noticed this adorable elderly couple that I have seen from time to time since last summer when I started coming here to study for the MCATs. They always sit together doing the crossword puzzle sitting side by side, with the husband's arm wrapped around his wife, as she fills in some of the answers. It is the sweetest and most heart warming sight. I still remember texting a picture of them to Ryan last summer. I hope I have something that special when I grow old. These days I have this heavy fear in my heart, what if I end up having something beautiful and just getting divorced years into the marriage? What if I become part of that 50%? I feel like I would be that type of person, to get divorced and although I am happy to think that I would have the strength to walk away from something that makes me miserable, all I really want from my life (on top of all those ambitious goals for my life) is someone to share it all with. I'm no where close to even getting married to someone and one of my greatest fears is divorce, how silly is that? 

Today I hope to work a little at Starbucks to get some essays done and then I'm going out dancing again with Joy in the evening. Hopefully tennis and brunch tomorrow morning as well!

This has been my favorite song for the moment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_KJAg8bHI