....I forgot Blogger existed

I forgot I had access to other people's lives and struggles.

Well they were right when they said Med school is hardly. I'm experiencing a very real fear of flunking out.

I have never been so happy...but there are also days where I am incredibly sad and anxious and devastated and terrified and just generally the whole spectrum of emotions

I've been slow to activate....(kinda like active immunity! I'm awesome.)

I just want to be old self, the passionate, hardworking, self
There are a lot of things I want to be.

My life here is so intensified and sped forward - each day seems to actually contain entire weeks worth of experiences - the fast pace of my life here, the density of things that do each day - make it feel as if I have been here for a year, not two months. It makes me feel like I'm supposed to be figuring out all the major parts of my life, like my career, and relationships, and that stuff. I think its making me so delusional that I at one point convinced myself that I met the guy I'm supposed to marry. This place is strange, this career is strange, these people are strange, And I somehow fit fairly well into this strangeness, because I'm quite a strange human being too.

And yet, I'm so glad I didn't choose anything else.

I'm seeing you guys in a few days and I have no idea what that's gona be like. I already feel like I'm quickly morphing into a different person and even leaving here seems like a jarring idea.