I just got waitlisted to a school I thought was almost a guarantee. This week I've also been rejected from getting an interview for Marshall and Rhodes and haven't heard from about 10 out of the 17 schools I applied to in August. I hate this process. I'm exhausted of working so hard for years and just face countless rejections every single spring and now fall. I don't understand what some people see to give me the most prestigious scholarships available at my university or fund trips abroad across the world but not see enough to give me acceptance into their programs. It is exhausting and frustrating and at times I just don't know what to do. I know being wait listed is not a no, but being wait listed by a school much less competitive than the one I am dying to go to, now that feels like a rejection.
....what if all of this work and money will be for nothing? what if I don't get in anywhere? Do I spend my next summer studying for the MCATs again? Reapply the summer after next? Wait before matriculating into medical school 3 years instead of 1? What did I not do enough? Is it really one number? Is it really that one single number that matters?
All these thoughts terrify me.
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edit: 5:26 pm
"Is it logical that anybody should be expected to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do?"
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